There are so many incredible, inspiring, life-changing things that happen when you transition into the new role of mother.
Yes, the first, primary and most obvious change is the arrival of a very small person in your world. Someone who will light up your life in ways that you never imagined possible, as well as frequently test your patience more than ever before!
But in my newborn baby world there was another surprisingly special occurrence.
It was something that rarely gets the recognition it deserves, an institution that you hear rumours about, but never truly know what it’s about until a few weeks after the birth.
And that is the introduction of a whole new circle of people into your life, a local group of girls who you would otherwise never cross paths with - It’s the Mothers Group.
Ten random strangers, all at probably the most fragile juncture in their lives, are thrust into a room together with a packet of biscuits and a box of tissues and left to their own devices.
Now I know that not everyone has a nice experience in this circle, some have competitive members, some unreliable, some just don’t click and fizzle away.
I count my blessings that I was one of the lucky ones where I hit the jackpot on this occasion. We all clicked and bonded like no other friends could - over the tears, the exhaustion, the shared stories of ‘is this normal…?’ as well as celebrating the little milestones and achievements at every stage.
Even as our lives change and grow, we will all remain friends, as will our children.
So, I would like to say an eternal round of gratitude to whatever council member came up with the idea - because it is a bold one.
A recent visit to my local childhood centre really made me appreciate the randomness of it all. Picking my way past all the shining new prams in the hallway, I glanced through the door at a circle of shell-shocked women who don’t know each other from Adam, they just happened to give birth at the same time, in the same postcode.
And I stopped to marvel at whether it could be the start of yet another whole new set of friendships, a sisterhood that goes so much deeper because of the shared experience you all have.
I had great reservations when I went to my first meeting. Not only was I seriously struggling with my newly acquired role, I’m also not the easiest person to bond with - I’ve been blessed with that self-effacing English sense of humour that can very quickly offend. But thankfully we all shared a passion for TimTams and champagne, and were all brutally honest in our parenting experiences, without any competition, pride or envy.
Many women, myself included, end up losing a key circle of friends when they have their first child. Those ‘Before Baby’ friends who only sms to catch up over drinks on Saturday night, or worse, stop calling at all because now you are accompanied by a minor, and even then are a little preoccupied with the current lack of sleep.
So to be provided with a new group of friends, all who share and understand everything that is monumental in your world at this time of great upheaval, needs much more heralding that it receives.
So, I raise a glass to the Mothers Group.
Enjoy your Thursday mornings in the park swapping stories. Make the most of those lunches chatting about sleep, routines and achievements that as a new mum you are so proud of, because these women are the ones that will truly understand how important these things are.
I, for one, still somewhat miss those sleep deprived morning coffees, the tears and the laughter at the baby’s escapades, and at the chaos of our newborn lives.
What was your experience in your mothers group?
Did it work out for you, or did you never go back?
Find me and all the comments, at birth.com.au
