I've completely lost track of the number of comments I've received throughout my pregnancies on the size of my bump.
Ranging from the quippy “come on, it must be
twins”, to the flagrant “OMG you are HUGE”, and coming from every facet of life
– well meaning friends, colleagues, strangers on the bus – they never fail to
stop me in my tracks!
The social etiquette of pregnancy has always
intrigued me, because the minute your belly pops you become subject to
perpetual social observations from whoever crosses your path – usually
completely uninvited comments, but they happen nonetheless.
And sometimes I struggle to remain tight-lipped,
as I wonder why pregnancy falls outside the realm of acceptable social remarks?
Why is it suddenly completely acceptable to happily comment on a person’s shape
and size, when in any other context it would be inappropriate?
And does it happen for everyone – large and
small?
Baby bumps come in all shapes and sizes, and they
are not always a direct correlation to your own body size – very similar to
other body parts such as your nose, ears, and hands, I guess.
Never, however, has someone stopped me the street
to breezily remind me that my nose is slightly large for my face (which it
unfortunately is), or my hands are strangely oversized for my arms (which is
also quite true!). Yet this unspoken, yet important social decorum of quietly
accepting people’s idiosyncrasies is all but flung out the window when it comes
to anything pregnancy related.
I must admit that size-related comments such as
these caused me great angst through my first pregnancy: Am I really too big? Is
there something wrong? Will it fit when the time comes to push him out?!
Second time around, however, I quite happily
smile and embrace my humungous bump, because I know it means I have a very
healthy, happy and thriving little passenger on board.
But what compels people to be so outspoken on the
subject?
It also seems that being pregnant leaves you open
to public commentary at almost every level available, this phenomenon is not
simply limited to observations about your waistline…
1) Stranger touching your belly: I heard about
this one but never thought it would actually happen to me, but it did just last
week.
2) Observations on your deportment: Yep, the word
‘waddle has been thrown my way many times, from as early as 16 weeks.
3) Critique on choice of clothing: Absolutely,
from tsk tsk at continuing to wear wedges after a bump was visible, to concerns
about skinny jeans.
4) What labour is in store: Again, I was
surprised, but it did happen when a stranger on a bus happily stated to me
“that one is going to be difficult to get out!”
5) Exercise: I’ve had declarations of horror from
both sides on this subject – one appalled that I would even consider stepping
foot in a gym, and another questioning why I had stopped jogging.
Naturally, none of these things happen when I’m
not pregnant!
Of course, there is another aspect to the eternal
bump discussions, and that is the myths attached to the shape, size and position
that apparently indicate whether it is a boy or a girl. The old wives tale
suggests that front and low is a boy, whereas high and visible from the back
means a girl.
Apparently both of my bumps 'look' like boy bumps
– never mind whether it was my first or second baby, how my body coped with the
change of pregnancy, or most importantly how many Tim Tams I'd eaten that day.
One was a boy and one is a girl, so in my case it
wasn’t so accurate.
But how does your bump size up to the myth?
What is the most outlandish pregnancy comment
you've received?
And do you find yourself commenting to others
without qualm?
Find me and all the comments, at birth.com.au
